


Promptficsplosion

by singingwithoutwords



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Awkwardness, Cooking, Couch Cuddles, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Hurt Tony, Insecure Tony, Nanny AU, Not What It Looks Like, Soup, Texting, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, all of Tony's friends are assholes, but he loves them anyway, feels from FUCKING NOWHERE, high class prostitute au, i apologize for the emotional whiplash represented in these tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-02-08 21:21:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 6,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1956570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/singingwithoutwords/pseuds/singingwithoutwords
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fic written for prompts, both on <a href="http://singingwithoutwords.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a> and from generators.  Each chapter is a stand-alone fic.  Tags will be updated as more fic is posted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wrong Number (gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From a prompt generator: text from an unknown number.
> 
>  **Pairing(s):** Gen  
>  **Character(s):** Pepper Potts, Steve Rogers  
>  **Warning(s):** unexpected feels

Pepper sighed, rolling her neck in hopes of easing at least a little of the tension in her shoulders. She'd wound up staying four extra hours in the office, and she wanted nothing more than to get home, take a long hot bath, and sleep for a week. And she could get that, she'd just have to deal with Saturday night traffic and the long drive to Point Dume first.

She slid into the back of the car and sank into the soft leather upholstery with a grateful sigh, kicking off her heels and stretching out as much as possible while Happy pulled out of the parking lot. She was actually thinking of trying to nap on the drive home when her phone pinged and incoming text. She opened it without even looking, figuring it was probably Tony.

**I thoughyt we were meeting in the gym**

Okay, decidedly  _not_  Tony. Even when too drunk to stand, Tony's texts tended to reflect perfect punctuation and spelling, since he dictated them to Jarvis whenever humanly possible. The number was one she didn't recognize, too.

 **I think you have the wrong number.** she texted back, which would generally be the end of it, but a minute later she got another text from the same unknown number.

**Im really sorry. Still getting used to the new phone. Hope I didnt interrupt anything**

Pepper smiled. She did have at least an hour to kill...

**No, just got off work. I take it you're waiting for someone?**

**Yeah my sparring partner. Shes running late tonight**

**That's too bad. Want me to keep you company while you wait?**

**You dont have to do that**

**I don't mind. I have some time to kill right now.**

The pause was slightly longer this time. Pepper wiggled her toes and waited patiently as they pulled onto the highway.

 **If youre sure it wont be a chore**  came the answer after another minute or two.

**Not at all. Do you and your partner spar often?**

**Every day usually. Unless work comes up.**

**What do you do for a living?**

**Thats classified. Sorry**

**Is what you like to do besides work and spar classified?**

**Not really. Just drawing mostly. You**

**I like shopping, especially for shoes.**

**Ive only got two pairs of shoes. Dont know how to make a laughing face**

**I couldn't live without my shoe closet. It gives me purpose in life.**

**Wish i had something like that**

**I'm sure you do. Maybe you just need to find it.**

**Used to have a purpose. Dont feel like i do anymore**

**We all feel like that sometimes. Don't worry, you'll find it. If you need help looking, you can always text me; I'd be happy to help.**

There was another long pause, at least five minutes this time.

**I'd like that. What can i call you**

**V.**  It seemed most people these days didn't even know Pepper wasn't her given name, so it was a safe enough alias even if whoever she was talking to wasn't as nice as they seemed.

**Call me s.**

**It's nice to meet you, S. No sign of your sparring partner?**

**No i think she fell asleep again. I should probably go to bed too**

**That's what I plan to do as soon as I get home.**

**Ill let you go then. Thanks for talking to me v**

**I enjoyed it, S. Feel free to text me whenever you want, and I'll answer as soon as I can.**

**You can do the same. Good night**

**Good night.**

Pepper slid her phone back into her purse with a sigh, turning to watch the ocean slide by on the left, drifting just this side of sleeping the rest of the way to Malibu.

Overall, there were worse ways for a girl to make new friends.


	2. Compromising Positions (gen)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: something magnetizes Bucky and Tony together, and they can't get unstuck. The Avengers would love to help - if they weren't laughing so hard they can't stand up straight.
> 
>  **Pairing(s):** Gen  
>  **Character(s):** Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes, others  
>  **Warning(s):** none

“This is  _not_  funny.”

Barton made a wheezing noise that sounded vaguely like ‘yes it is’.

“You’re all a bunch of goddamn children, did you know that?” Tony asked, rolling his eyes. “Every last one of you. I’m not making you any new tech for at least a week.”

“Worth it for this,” Romanov said. She was grinning like the Cheshire Cat in that one really weird comic, and was that a phone?

“I swear to God, Widow, if you’re filming this-”

“I am,” she said brightly, completely unrepentant.

Tony sighed, wishing he could bash his head into a wall for a while, but that would only make this even more awkward. It was bad enough that Barnes’ entire left arm, from fingertip to shoulder, was firmly magnetized to his suit – which, he would like to point out, was  _not_  supposed to be the least bit magnetic at all – but the position it left them in was just downright embarrassing. There was no way anyone would look at Barnes pressed against him with an arm around his waist and  _not_  think ‘slow-dancing’.

“C’mon, Stark, this is  _priceless_!” Barton protested, his laughter dying down enough that he could at least form actual words. “You’d be laughing, too, if it was anyone else!”

“Laws of physics are being broken over here,” Tony informed him. “Laws. Of. Physics.”

It was about then that Romanov lost it and had to sit down.

Cap finally sauntered back with a half-dressed Bruce in tow, and they were both absolute traitors, because Bruce started laughing as soon as he saw them and Cap was showing off his smirking abilities again.

“Why do we hang out with these assholes, again?” Barnes asked, sighing.

“We want to make them feel special,” Tony answered. “It’s an act of charity.”

“They don’t deserve us.”

“They really don’t. They’re lucky we’re such nice guys.”

For some reason, Barton collapsed against Romanov and started cackling again.

Bruce, grinning so hard his face had to hurt, made a bit of an effort to compose himself. “Okay. Okay. Sorry, guys, just- are we invited to the wedding?”

“I will replace all your OSes with Windows,” Tony threatened. “All your mediation music? Consider it swapped for screamer metal.”

“I’m sorry,” Bruce apologized, kind of ruining it because he was still laughing. “Really, I am. Let’s- give me just a minute and we’ll see if we can’t get you two unstuck, okay?”

Tony stood still and prayed they managed to fix this before the press showed up. It was bad enough that the team would never let them live this down- the last thing he needed was the gossip rags getting in on it.


	3. Winter Warmth (steve/nat)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from a friend: Steve/Nat, soup
> 
> **Pairing(s):** Steve/Natasha  
>  **Character(s):** Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov  
>  **Warning(s):** none

“Here.”

Steve almost fell off the couch. In his own defense, he hadn't heard Natasha sneaking up on him, and anyone would be surprised by a bowl being shoved in their face even if they _hadn't_ been deep in miserable contemplation of how much they hated winter.

Natasha didn't so much as twitch. She just stood there, looking deceptively small and harmless in an oversized beige sweater with a steaming bowl in each hand, expression balancing on the amused side of neutral, until Steve collected himself enough to actually take the significantly larger one.

“Thank you,” he said, settling back into the cocoon of blankets he'd amassed in the corner of the couch over the course of the day.

Natasha granted him a small smile, slipping neatly into the space next to him, sticking her feet under his blankets without touching him. “Eat.”

“What is it?” Steve asked with not quite unjustified suspicion. Natasha had a knack for making innocent-looking food that turned out to be incredibly spicy or sour and not bothering to tell him until it was too late, and he didn't want to be fooled yet again.

Natasha smiled a bit wider. “Eat,” she repeated. The fact that he could tell she was secretly laughing at him didn't help him at all.

Steve sighed, steeling himself just in case, and dug in. The soup was sour, but not unbearably so. There was a great deal of salt in it, a lot of meat, and a good amount of vegetables, and it was actually pretty good.

Natasha finished before him, but her bowl was much smaller. It was an actual soup bowl, while his was probably a serving dish of some sort, judging by the size. By the time he was done, he actually felt warm and comfortably full, and he didn't want to get up.

Natasha, slight smile still in place, took his bowl and slid it onto the coffee table before wiggling her way further into his cocoon, eventually settling right in his lap. Steve slipped his arms around her and shifted until they were both comfortable, then closed his eyes. When he woke up an hour or so later, the bowls had vanished, but Natasha was still asleep against his chest.

Maybe winter wasn't so bad after all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may be the shortest thing I've ever written.
> 
> And now I want soup. >.>


	4. Trolls (clint/phil/tony)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: Clint/Tony/Phil, trolling the press
> 
>  **Pairing(s):** Clint/Phil/Tony  
>  **Character(s):** Clint Barton, Phil Coulson, Tony Stark  
>  **Warning(s):** none

“You guys have _got_  to see this,” Tony said, shoving a tablet between Clint’s face and his waffles.

“I thought we agreed no electronics at the breakfast table,” Phil admonished without looking up from his good old-fashioned hardcopy of the morning paper.

“Technically, I’m not _at_  the breakfast table,” Tony said.  “I’m standing next to the breakfast table.  That’s different.  No, seriously, this is worth it, trust me.”

“The last time you said that, I didn’t have eyebrows for a week,” Clint said, but he took the tablet, anyway.  They didn’t have many rules, but Tony put a lot of effort into not breaking the few they did have, so he wasn’t too fussed.  “Huh.”

“What is it?” Phil asked, finally abandoning the business section.

“Well apparently I’m a folk hero for breaking Tony Stark’s heart,” Clint said, turning the tablet so Phil could see the shitty picture someone’d manage to snap of Phil, in full Agent attire complete with sunglasses, kissing a scrape on Clint’s arm in the aftermath of their last major dust-up.

Phil frowned, taking the tablet from Clint.  “’Tony Stark finally gets what he deserves’?” he read, outwardly calm in a way that Clint knew meant he was trying to figure out who to shoot for this.  “What is that supposed to mean?”

Tony shrugged, dropping into the chair next to Clint and stealing one of his sausage links.  “You know my reputation- even though there’s no evidence I’ve ever cheated on anyone, everyone pretty much agrees I must have, at least once per relationship.”

Phil set the tablet down.  “I’ll have a word with whoever thought this was acceptable,” he promised.

“No, no, Phil.  Agent.  Sweetie.  You’re thinking too small.”

Clint glanced at Tony.  He was grinning.  There was a distinct shark-like quality to it.  Whatever Tony was thinking, Clint already approved.

Phil stared impassively at Tony for a long moment before sitting back down, folding his hands over his paper.  He managed to look completely professional and badass, dressed in an Iron Man bathrobe and brown flannel pajamas.

“What did you have in mind, Mr. Stark?”

* * *

One month and at least a dozen dates later, TMZ of all publications finally caught on.  It said sad things about the gossip rags in New York that it took them that long, considering how incredibly obvious they were at times, but they did get there eventually.

While putting a bullet in anyone who thought it was okay to badmouth their lover might have been more satisfying, Clint and Phil both agreed that Tony’s way was more fun.


	5. Sticks and Stones (rhodey/tony)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: The team 'teases' Tony over his relationship with Rhodey. Tony takes it very much to heart.
> 
>  **Pairing(s):** Rhodey/Tony  
>  **Character(s):** James Rhodes, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton, Steve Rogers, JARVIS  
>  **Warning(s):** team being accidental jerks, Tony feels

They don’t mean it.  It’s okay.  They’re just teasing.  Poking fun.  They don’t mean it.  He knows that.

“Are we sure there’s no mind control at work here?”

They don’t mean it.

“Glad to see Rhodes is settling down, emphasis on the _settling_.”

They’re just teasing.

“Be real, Tony, what are you holding over the poor guy?”

They don’t mean it.

“After all the years he’s put up with you, you’re finally putting out for him?”

It’s just friendly teasing.

“A boyfriend is a big responsibility- maybe you should’ve gotten a houseplant first?”

They don’t mean it.

“Rhodes has been to war- Tony can’t be _too_ much worse.”

Do they?

“Has anyone nominated Rhodey for sainthood yet?”

They don’t-

“Guess you must be as good in bed as they say.”

Oh, God.

“Just out of curiosity, how much _are_ you paying him to date you?”

They do.

* * *

The team minus Tony is scattered across the common room in front of the television when Rhodey storms into it, looking for something to hit.  Since he opened the door himself and it now has a bent hinge and there’s a pretty substantial dent in the wall, he gets their immediate attention.

“Would anyone in this room like to explain to me,” he says, doing his best to sound calm and reasonable and - judging by the reactions - failing utterly, “Why Tony just broke up with me?”

They exchange a few bewildered glances.

“More specifically, why Tony just broke up with me because I deserve better and _everyone on the team knows it_?”

“We never told him anything like that,” Barton says, frowning.

“We never meant anything like that,” Romanov says at the same time.

“You have ten seconds to explain before I go fucking ballistic,” Rhodey warns them.  He doesn’t have homing bracelets for War Machine, but Jarvis can control the suit- it’s only one floor down, and he’s starting to think he’s going to need it.

“We _may_ have teased him,” Barton confesses.  “Just a little.”

“Define ‘a little’.”

No definition is forthcoming, but they all look varying degrees of uncomfortable.

“If I may, Colonel,” Jarvis speaks up.  “My records show a total of 1,277 disparaging remarks with regard to Sir’s romantic involvement with you, within the Tower.  I cannot speak to any which may have been made beyond my sensors.”

“1,277 times is _a little_?”

Barton actually starts squirming.  “It’s not like we _meant_ it!  Tony knows we were just messing with him!”

“1,277 times you told the man he wasn’t good enough for me.  We’ve been dating for two goddamn months.  That’s- Jarvis?”

“Roughly 21 times a day, Colonel,” Jarvis supplies.

“Nearly once a fucking hour.  So literally _every goddamn hour_  of our relationship you dragged him down, and you’re surprised he started thinking maybe he _belonged_ where you kept putting him?”

“Tony’s an adult,” Rogers says, clearly still mystified.  “I’m sure he can handle a little teasing.”

Rhodey breaks three bones in his hand punching Captain America in the face.  It feels better than it probably should.

* * *

Jarvis calls Tony’s personal physician, who sets Rhodey's hand on the hallway floor outside Tony’s lab.  Rhodey is not going to lose his best friend and quite possibly the love of his life because the Avengers don’t know when to shut their fucking mouths and just be happy for someone.

He waited nearly 30 years for Tony the first time- he can wait however long it takes this time.


	6. Welcome Home (happy/tony)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: Tony/Happy, against-a-wall kiss
> 
>  **Pairing(s):** Happy Hogan/Tony Stark  
>  **Character(s):** Happy Hogan, Tony Stark  
>  **Warning(s):** none

Outside of the suit, Tony was neither very large nor very strong.  He had good reflexes and good instincts, but he was a bit on the small side for a man his age, and only slightly stronger than average, so if someone really wanted to, it wouldn’t be all that difficult to pick him up and slam him against a wall.  Not that many people had really wanted to, at least not in a sexy way.

So basically this was an altogether new experience for Tony.

He’d spent the last two weeks hopping around Europe doing Pepper’s bidding and counting down the days until he could come home.  He hadn’t even been in the door a full minute before someone grabbed him, spun him around, and did the whole picking-him-up-and-slamming-him-into-a-wall thing.  Which was sexier than one would think, once  he realized that the someone in question was Happy.

Tony opened his mouth to share this newfound bit of very important data, but Happy was apparently having none of that and just hauled off and kissed him.

Tony would never in a million years presume to claim he was a good boyfriend, but even he knew that when your significant other planted one on you, you planted one right back.

Also, please take a note brain- the kissing made the preceding thing with the wall even sexier.

Tony’s lungs were just barely tight enough to be unpleasant by the time Happy let him breathe again.  Happy smiled a bit sheepishly and ducked his head slightly, clearing his throat.

“Welcome home, Boss,”

“I love it when you call me Boss,” Tony commented, grinning.  Since Happy still had him pretty firmly pinned, he shifted slightly and lifted both legs, wrapping them around Happy’s waist.  “Did you miss me?  I’m getting the feeling that you missed me.”

“Of course I missed you, Boss,” Happy said, his smile more fond and less embarrassed.  “Any chance the feeling was mutual?”

“Hell, yes,” Tony said, kissing Happy again. “Pepper is evil, she hates me, I don’t know why I gave her my company.”  Another kiss, just in case Happy had doubts about his feelings here.  “But she promised me a whole week off, and is probably at least partially responsible for that incredibly hot greeting, so I forgive her.  You should slam me into walls more often.”

“I love you, Boss,” Happy said with one of those full, un-self-conscious laughs that Tony adored, stepping away from the wall still supporting Tony like he weighed nothing at all.

Tony wrapped his arms around Happy’s neck and leaned against him, closing his eyes.  “Love you, too.”


	7. Home is Where Your Boyfriend Kidnaps You To (clint/laura/tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr sentence prompt: "If you don't rest, you won't heal."
> 
> **Pairing(s)** : Clint/Laura/Tony  
>  **Character(s)** : Clint Barton, Tony Stark, Cooper Barton, Lila Barton, Laura Barton  
>  **Warning(s)** : fluff, chance of entering rarepair hell

Tony had to hand it to Clint, he really knew how to hold someone prisoner- he’d taken away his tablet, both his phones, his watch, _and_  his prototype HUD glasses, parked him on the fold-out couch, and dumped a small agent on either side of him, thereby ensuring that Tony couldn’t get up without someone betraying him to daddy.  Then, because that apparently wasn’t enough for Clint, he’d stationed Laura at the kitchen table.

“I will get you for this,” Tony promised, glaring his best.  It wasn’t very effective.

“If you don’t rest, you won’t heal,” Clint pointed out at his most infuriatingly logical.  “You’re just lucky you messed up a leg and not an arm, or I’d have you running gopher duty on the upstairs bath.”

“Are you threatening me with home improvement projects?”

“Could be worse- I could be threatening you with Cooper’s math homework.”

“Why do I put up with you?”

“A mystery for the ages.  You guys keep an eye on Tony for me, okay?  Yell for Mom if he won’t behave.”

“Yes, Daddy,” the mini agents chorused.

“Awesome.  I’ll be down for lunch.  And Cooper, you do have to do your homework, whether Tony helps or not.  Don’t forget.”

“I won’t,” Mini Agent #1 promised.

Clint smiled, kissing both mini agents on the forehead, then planting one on Tony’s lips.  The kids were young enough not to find it weird at all that Mom and Dad both sometimes kissed Tony, or that the three adults had ‘sleepovers’ in Mom and Dad’s room whenever Tony stayed the night.

Once Clint vanished up the stairs, Tony sighed.  “Okay, Agent- let’s see that math homework.”

Cooper whooped, jumping off the couch and running off to get his backpack.  Tony shifted around until he was more comfortable and resigned himself to the situation.  He would swear up and down until his dying day that the week he spent holed up on the Barton homestead was the worst week of his life, but literally nobody would ever believe him, least of all the Bartons.


	8. But Can You Afford Me? (t'challa/tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: high class prostitute!Tony
> 
> **Pairing(s)** : T'Challa/Tony, mentioned Pepper/Steve  
>  **Character(s)** : Tony Stark, T'challa  
>  **Warning(s)** : prostitution

In Tony’s line of work, reputation was everything.  Oh, sure, skill was nice to have, but without a reputation, it was pretty much useless.  You had to be known.  People had to recognize you, know your name, and know your reputation was solid.

Tony’s reputation was _very_  solid.  He didn’t kiss and tell, he had impeccable manners, he was devastatingly handsome, witty, a genius capable of following any scientific conversation with ease, and highly skilled in other areas no one talked about in polite company.  His reputation was so solid that he could be extremely discerning about which clients he took on; showing up to a party with Tony Stark at your side was a mark of serious prestige in a lot of circles.  He didn’t advertise the people he turned down, either.  Didn’t want a reputation for humiliating the clientele, after all.

(There were exceptions, of course.  Like that asshole Stone, who thought paying for Tony’s time meant he could do whatever the fuck he wanted.  Now he couldn’t buy himself company in New York for any price: everyone knew if Tiberius Stone propositioned you, you told him no, called Tony, and got paid very well for _not_ getting your ass smacked around and potentially killed.)

Tony was fairly certain his reputation was solely responsible for his current visitor.  Sprawled across his living room couch like it was a throne, in a bespoke suit that accentuated and enhanced every inch of his body, was a man with plenty of experience involving thrones: Crown Prince T’Challa of Wakanda.

Tony sat opposite the prince on a low chair of the same rich golden brown leather as the couch, glass of fine scotch in hand.  He knew Prince T’Challa by reputation, of course, though they’d never met- Wakanda was very much the talk of a lot of circles, but its people very rarely strayed past its borders.

Prince T’Challa had a reputation for a wickedly sharp sense of humor and a matching tongue to those who irritated him.  He was polite to everyone, no matter how low their social or financial class, gave generous tips, knew how to graciously accept rejection, and never went anywhere without one of his bodyguards.  Tony could attest to that last one, since a woman who looked like she could bench press him one-handed was standing against the wall behind T’Challa, face pleasantly expressionless.

“So,” Tony said after a moment.  “To what do I owe this honor, your Highness?”

T’Challa smiled.  It made him look impish, without detracting from the royalness.  “An acquaintance of mine told me that the best way to truly experience America is to experience it with Tony Stark.”

“High praise,” Tony said.  “Does this acquaintance have a name?”  Certain clients had certain impressions of him, and knowing who’d referred T’Challa might go a long way to figuring out what he was after.

“Miss Virginia Potts,”

Virginia “Pepper” Potts, CEO of Potts Industries.  Enjoyed spa days, massages, having her hair played with, romcom movie marathons, and ranting about business rivals.  Nothing sexual with her; he was pretty sure she was sweet on her driver/bodyguard Steve, who was _definitely_  sweet on her, and Tony wasn’t about to upset that human golden retriever puppy.  Tony privately considered her a good friend.  He wouldn’t even mind not being paid to hang out with her anymore.

“Pepper certainly knows a thing or two- I for one wouldn’t disagree with her.”

T’Challa’s smile widened slightly, and he nodded.  “Indeed.  Miss Potts recommended you highly.”

“How long will you be in the country?”

“Two months.  That is all my father will allow for now.”

“All of it in New York, or do you intend to travel?”

“I intend, should you allow me, to do whatever you propose.”

“Such faith in little old me?” Tony asked, laughing.  “I’m flattered, your Highness.”

“Please, call me T’Challa.”

“Well, T’Challa,” he said, setting down his drink and leaning forward.  “Two months - with travel, because America has so much more than this one city to offer - that might put a bit of a dent in your budget.”

T’challa leaned forward as well.  “I am certain I can cover any cost I might incur at your side.”

Tony held out his hand, telegraphing it carefully, because bodyguards tended to get skittish if hands moved too fast around them, and he didn’t want to be body-slammed through his expensive glass coffee table.  “Then congratulations- you’re about to have yourself one hell of a vacation.”

T’Challa took his hand and shook it.  His hand was bigger than Tony’s, warm, with callous on the fingers.  “I look forward to it.”


	9. The Way to a Billionaire's Heart (sam/tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: IronFalcon fluff
> 
> **Pairing(s)** : Sam/Tony  
>  **Character(s)** : Tony Stark, Sam Wilson  
>  **Warning(s)** : none

All of Tony’s homes had kitchens.  No self-respecting architect would design a house or apartment without a kitchen.  Tony owned eight private kitchens in three countries, but for the longest time none of them saw much use beyond making coffee and storing takeout.  The closest Tony came to a regularly used kitchen was the one on the Avengers common floor, which was only technically his.

Then he met Sam.

Sam, who was worse than Steve about mother henning, but better than Steve at making Tony not resent being mother henned.  He’d gotten fed up with Tony not attending team meals and taken it on himself to feed Tony at least once a day, however he had to.  This apparently included invading his private floor - yes, it still counted as invading even if he had the codes and explicit permission to be there - and making annoyingly cute distressed noises over the lack of food in his kitchen.

Somehow, Tony’s kitchen became stocked.  Tony learned quickly that if he went more than a day without anyone seeing him eat, Sam would turn up in his kitchen and _make_ him eat.  And that meant that Tony maybe kind of went out of his way to hide his meals from the team, because that meant seeing Sam more often.

Which meant he liked Sam.

Which meant he was screwed.

Tony’s instinctive reaction to realizing how royally fucked he was in regards to Sam was to cut off all contact, move back to California, lock himself in his workshop, and stay there until his feelings got ahold of themselves.  But that meant not seeing Sam, and his stupid feelings made it clear that was not allowed to happen.

So he stayed.

* * *

It had been a long day, and it was way past normal dinnertime when Tony finally collapsed onto a chair at the kitchen table, pulling his tie off with one hand.  Sam was already at the counter, presiding over a crockpot (he owned a crockpot? when did that happen?) of something that made the entire floor smell amazing.  He glanced over his shoulder with a smile that made Tony’s heart beat faster.

“Rough day?” he asked.

“You have no idea,” Tony said with a groan.

“Poor you,” Sam said, bringing a steaming bowl over to the table and setting it in front of Tony.  “Eat up.”

“I love you,” Tony said, reaching for the spoon.  “Marry me.”

Sam laughed, going back to the mysterious crockpot and serving himself a bowl, too.  “Careful with that kind of talk, Mr. Stark- a girl could take you seriously.”

“ _If only,_ ” Tony said feelingly, because he was tired and distracted and Sam made him feel safe enough to drop his brain-to-mouth filter.  He didn’t even realize what he’d said until his mouth was full of beef and onion, and it was too late to turn it into a joke.

Sam froze in the act of sitting down across from him, looking poleaxed for a second before he sat down the rest of the way.  Tony wondered frantically if he could make it to the elevator before Sam caught him.

Sam cleared his throat, shifting in his chair.  “Well,” he said, “marriage might be a bit much, but I do know a diner that makes great burgers.”

Tony’s brain failed him for the second time in as many minutes.  “Are you asking me out?”  Sam nodded.  “Why?  You don’t like me, not like that.”

Sam actually looked offended.  “You think I cook every day for just anybody?”

“Well- I mean- no?”

“Damn right, I don’t.  So am I gonna get an answer?”

“Yes,” Tony said immediately.  “Yes, absolutely, I would _love_ to go for burgers with you.”

“Good,” Sam said, grinning.  “Just, uh… maybe we _don’t_ tell the team how we’ve been pining over each other instead of opening our big fat mouths?  I don’t think they’d ever let us hear the end of it.”

Tony groaned again.  “God.  Yes.  Deal.  They can never know.”

Sam laughed.  “Eat your stew, babe.”

Tony felt his cheeks warm with a flush of pleasure, and he refocused on his forgotten dinner.

Made by his boyfriend.

A guy could get used to this.

(When he remembered to ask in the morning, Sam had no idea where the crockpot had come from, either.)


	10. Flight (gen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: Tony, Rhodey, and Carol Danvers being awesome and flying together
> 
>  **Pairing(s)** : none  
>  **Character(s)** : Tony Stark, Rhodey Rhodes, Carol Danvers  
>  **Warning(s)** : none

The first time Carol had flown with them, she’d been in a jet.  She’d been linked to them through the comm, and technically speaking no further from them than if she’d been in a suit of her own, but it had still _felt_ further away, like she was observing their antics instead of participating in them.

So it wasn’t surprising, once she’d gotten the hang of her powers, that the very first thing she wanted to do was go flying again.

She was still the odd one out when they took to the sky, them in heavy metal suits and her in what amounted to little more than spandex, but the feeling of separation wasn’t there anymore.  She was definitely a part of the flight now, just as fully as them.

She wove around War Machine and Iron Man, just as fast and far more agile, close enough to touch them.  And since this was technically supposed to be testing the limits of her powers, she reached out and brushed her fingers against Iron Man’s arm.

“Tag,” she said into the improved comm Tony had given her, designed to be used at high speeds without a helmet to buffer wind noise, “you’re it.”

They were the ones to call it quits - surrender, really - more than an hour later.  Carol was the clear winner, but Rhodey hadn’t done too badly, and Tony had fallen back on his ‘stop picking on me, I’m a civilian’ excuse.

She let them land, hovering a few inches off the ground because it was going to be a while before she got over the fact that she had _actual superpowers_.  She doubted anyone could blame her there.

“Same time next week?” she asked.

“You are evil,” Tony informed her, but he was smiling when he pulled his helmet off.  “You’re trying to kill us.”

“We wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Rhodey added, grinning just as wide.


	11. Words (rhodey/tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: Rhodey/Tony, things you said on our honeymoon
> 
>  **Pairing(s)** : Rhodey/Tony  
>  **Character(s)** : Tony Stark, Rhodey Rhodes  
>  **Warning(s)** : high levels of sap

Tony doesn’t believe in words.  Words are cheap and meaningless.  They can be faked so easily, empty and manipulative, and he never uses words when he wants to say something important.

Tony expresses his love in extravagant gifts, in lingering touches and failed attempts at cooking.  His declarations of affection are ridiculous pet names and shy smiles.  His loyalty and devotion are expressions in and of themselves, his trust explicit in the way he relaxes under Rhodey’s hands, boneless and at ease.

Rhodey’s committed them all to memory, each little gesture and sign that means he is loved, is cherished.  There are things Tony has very carefully never said out loud since they started dating, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t shouted them in a hundred silent ways.  Rhodey doesn’t need words.  He thought he did at first, but over the years that’s fallen by the wayside.

Sixteen hours after officially becoming Colonel and Mr. Stark-Rhodes, Rhodey rolls over in a plush hotel bed somewhere in Austria and opens his eyes to find Tony smiling down at him.  He smiles back, and he does not expect Tony to lean down and brush a soft, uncertain kiss against his lips and say, quiet and trembling, “I love you, James.”

Rhodey doesn’t need words, but he knows what a gift these words are, what they mean coming from Tony, so he pulls Tony back down into his arms and whispers into his hair, “I love you, too.”


	12. A Lifetime Movie in the Making (clint/laura/tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: Clint/Laura/Tony, nanny/parent au
> 
>  **Pairing(s)** : Clint/Laura/Tony  
>  **Character(s)** : Clint Barton, Laura Barton, Tony Stark  
>  **Warning(s)** : none

“This is a Lifetime movie in the making,” Clint remarked, making sure not to speak loudly enough to disturb the little group in the den.

“A sappy Lifetime movie, or an awful one?” Laura asked.

“Awful one.  Someone’s gonna die, the kids’ll go into foster care, it’s gonna have a moral and everything,” Clint predicted, shaking his head.  “How’d you convince this guy to give up his lucrative modelling career to come run after our kids?”

Laura laughed.  “I didn’t,” she said.  “He’d just gotten fired at the store, actually.  The yelling upset Cooper, which set Nate off- next thing I knew he had all three of them laughing up a storm.”

“So it’s already a Lifetime movie.  Am I gonna kill you, or are you gonna kill me?”

Laura laughed again, dragging him away so the kids could get to know their new live-in nanny in peace.

* * *

Tony, as the nanny’s name turned out to be, was amazingly patient with the kids.  He was wicked smart, and let slip he’d had to drop out of MIT but clammed up about the circumstances there.  He was also very handy around the house.  All of that in addition to being one of the most gorgeous men Clint had ever met.  It took all of a month for him and Laura to agree that they were both doomed.

So Clint wasn’t exactly surprised to come home from work late one night to find Laura and Tony on the couch, kissing enthusiastically.  He stopped in the doorway, watching for a moment before he spoke up.

“I thought we were going to talk to him before we did anything.”

Laura and Tony both jumped.  Laura twisted around, looking embarrassed but pleased with herself, and Tony looked about ten seconds away from a massive terror-induced heart attack as he scrambled to his feet.

“Shit, Mr. Barton, I’m sorry, that- I wasn’t- I- don’t be mad at Laura, that was completely my fault, I’m sorry, please don’t shoot me, I’ll go, you don’t-”

“This is why we needed to talk first,” Clint said to Laura.  Tony shut his mouth, looking back and forth between them.  “Sit your ass back down, Tony- I’m not mad.”

Tony stared at him like he’d grown a second head, but he sank back onto the couch.  “You’re not?”

“Nope.”  Clint walked over, sitting on the loveseat, and Laura settled back down next to Tony.  “Laura and I have been talking about this for a while.”

“You discussed your wife cheating on you with the nanny?”

“It’s not cheating if I okay it beforehand,” Clint pointed out.  “And it’s definitely not cheating if I’m involved.”

Judging by the way Tony was staring, Clint’s second head must’ve grown a second head.

“Laura jumped the gun, but I’m totally okay with you kissing my wife.”

“And I have no problem with you kissing my husband,” Laura added.  “We both like you, Tony.”

“And, assuming it’s what _you_ want, we’d both like to go a bit further than just kissing.”

“So… you want an open relationship?” Tony asked.

“Not quite,” Laura said.  “We want an exclusive relationship- we just want that to include you.”

“Okay, that’s a new one,” Tony said after a minute.

“You don’t need to give us an answer right away,” Clint assured him.  “And telling us no won’t lose you your job; the kids’d kill us in our sleep.  You can take some time, think it-”

“Okay.”

“That fast?”

Tony shrugged.  “Why not?  Could be fun.  And anyway, I trust you guys.  So yeah, let’s do this.”

“Awesome,” Clint said, grinning.  “In that case, how’d you like to spend the night in our room?  Bed’s plenty big enough for three.”

Tony glanced at Laura, laughing when she waggled her eyebrows, and stood up.  “I’d like that a lot,” he said with a small, almost shy smile.

 _Yeah,_ Clint thought as he got up, too, _I am so doomed._


	13. Worth It (bucky/sam/tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr sentence prompt: Bucky/Sam/Tony, “Well, isn’t this a gorgeous view?”
> 
>  **Pairing(s)** : Bucky/Sam/Tony  
>  **Character(s)** : Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Tony Stark  
>  **Warning(s)** : none

“Well, isn’t this a gorgeous view?” Tony asked the still night air, smiling to himself.

Somewhere behind him, out on the lawn, the party was still going strong.  It probably wouldn’t start winding down until near sunrise, if Tony knew his birthday parties.  He could still hear the faint babble of conversation and laughter through the open windows, sounding worlds away from the sight in front of him.

Bucky, still not one for massive parties, had retreated to the sunroom hours ago.  From the looks of things he’d raided the library first and fallen asleep reading.  Tony couldn’t say for sure when Sam had thrown in the towel, but he was tucked against Bucky’s right side with his face in Bucky’s hair, and either Bucky had been reading two books, or they’d been reading together before they passed out.

They’d chosen to cuddle up on the sectional, shoved together to form a makeshift bed, and they were goddamn adorable.

“Be even better if you were in it,” Bucky spoke up, jarring Tony out of his thoughts.  He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised Bucky was actually awake, despite appearing dead to the world.

“Is that so?” Tony said.  “You sure I’d fit?”

Bucky nudged Sam, who grumbled in his sleep and wormed away, leaving a gap that might just barely be big enough.  “Get your ass down here, birthday boy.”

“Bossy,” Tony accused, grinning.  He kicked off his shoes and climbed on, wiggling his way between them.

It took a bit of shifting, but eventually he wound up with his head on Bucky’s chest and his back pressed against Sam, who snuggled right up to him without waking in the slightest.  Tony found Sam’s hand and laced their fingers together, closing his eyes.  His back was probably going to regret this in the morning, but whatever- it was worth it.

“Happy birthday,” Bucky said softly, and Sam mumbled something into his neck that was either ‘love you’ or ‘not glue’, and Tony smiled.

Definitely worth it.


	14. F(h)air Play (rhodey/tony)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr prompt: Rhodey/Tony, one playing with the other's hair
> 
>  **Pairing(s)** : Rhodey/Tony  
>  **Character(s)** : James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Tony Stark, other Avengers  
>  **Warning(s)** : none

It wasn’t, objectively speaking, all that late.  It was nowhere near midnight, barely past 2200, and most days that would not be late to them.  But after two days of near-constant battle against snow monsters across half of Alaska with basically no rest, even noon would feel late.

The jet was crowded, with the entire team crammed into it for the trip home.  Banner was asleep in the corner with a tired-eyed Barton next to him.  Romanov was curled in the pilot’s chair, resting but probably not actually asleep.  Thor and Rogers seemed to take up half the remaining space between them, Rogers on the bench and Thor sprawled at his feet, speaking to him quietly.

Iron Man was stored, stashed out of sight in a compartment behind where War Machine stood, equally empty and eerily still.  Rhodey himself was half-lying on the bench opposite Rogers while Tony paced the narrow strip of open floorspace, too keyed up to rest no matter how badly he needed to.

Rhodey caught Tony’s hand as he passed and tugged gently on it, too tired for words.  JARVIS had control of the jet, they still had a few hours before they reached home, and even in his hazy state of exhaustion, Rhodey couldn’t help but try and look after his man.

Tony sighed, more relieved than put-upon, and managed a graceful sort of collapse to the floor.  He leaned against the bench, resting his head on Rhodey’s hip, and closed his eyes, still holding loosely to his hand.

Rhodey shifted around a bit and lifted his free hand, burying it in Tony’s greasy, sweat-damp hair.  Tony huffed as Rhodey combed his nails lightly across his scalp, finally letting some of the tension drop from his shoulders.

“Cheater,” Tony accused softly.  It sounded loud in the near-silence of the jet, but not jarring; none of the others who were still awake even bothered to look up.

Rhodey hummed agreeably, continuing to run his fingers through Tony’s hair from forehead to as far back as he could reach, watching as Tony relaxed bit by bit, eyes fluttering closed.  It took several minutes for Tony to finally ease into sleep.  Rhodey didn’t stop until he, too, drifted off.  They slept the rest of the way home, and woke up curled around each other in their bed the next morning, with Rhodey’s hand once again buried in Tony’s hair.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, feedback is loved and greatly appreciated.
> 
> If you'd like to submit a prompt, my [tumblr ask](http://singingwithoutwords.tumblr.com/ask) is always open, even and especially to anons. ^^


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